Gray Sunday

I hoped for yet another glorious day of sunshine for today, Sunday, but it's overcast and gray outside - I'm not sure if I can even dredge up the excitement to wander down to the local Farmer's Market and eyeball the oyster bar with any sort of real interest. The Slavic baker with the Russian Tea Cakes...now that MIGHT get me motivated, but I'm really supposed to be staying away from evil white sugar and flour. The sun keeps threatening to peak its head out, alas, nothing. It would have been nice for a warm cheery day especially since I am going to see Coloratura today, hoping to cheer her a bit after the ordeals she's been through and also because it's just nice to spend time hanging out with her in real life rather than virtually. So, instead of us strolling somewhere outside and basking up the rays, I reckon we'll instead hover over cups of herbal tea, and try to stay warm.

I stayed up late last night reading IF blog after IF blog. I'd find an amusing blogname listed on someone's sidebar and would go and investigate to see what they were up to, what their experience has been, and whether they've been successful, or not. I think I stayed up well past 1am and in it I found quite a few good reads that I've added to my sidebar, a mixture of IF and post IF stories.

Each time I find a new IF blog, I am taken aback by the sheer numbers of us who are in this boat together. And what really blows me away is the AGE of some of these women. I'm 41 and it's my own damned fault for having waiting this long (with blocked tubes to boot), but what about those lovely ladies who are in their mid to late 20's who have endured more IVFs than even some of the older veterans of IF? Us older women with IF often look wistfully at younger women and envy them for their heightened fertility, their perfect eggs, their flawless tubes and uterii. But what about when a younger woman doesn't even have the advantage of age on their side and they have just as much trouble as us older ladies? This is simply devastating, mind boggling. I think somehow, their shock may be more severe than ours, even if our desperation is more marked as we watch our last months and years of fertility slide out of grasp.

My heart really goes out to each and every woman out there experiencing IF and I am so so very grateful that there is this thing called blogging so that we can share our individual IF experiences with kindred spirits. I don't know what my state of mind would be right now if I hadn't met The Crones. I can barely imagine it, and I doubt I would be thinking clearly. Am I thinking clearly now? I'm not sure, it's hard to tell for certain, but I do know that I'm not panicked.

Thanks ladies. :X