Limbo: The Madness Between Trigger & Retrieval

The scariest part of an IVF cycle, for me, is the time between trigger and embryo retrieval. There is something very unsettling about having given yourself a shot of HCG, which starts the process of maturing and releasing the eggs. Essentially, within about 38 to 40 hours each of my follicles will have gone **pop** if they aren't first surgically removed. Once this shot has been given, there's no turning back. A process is spun into place. And it's unstoppable. At no other time in an IVF cycle are we more out of control than we are now.

This is where the horror starts.

Let me share with you the madness that is currently mine:

What if Dr. Moustache gets into a car wreck and doesn't make it to the surgery center on time? Or at all?

What if we get into an accident, ourselves, on the way to the surgery center tomorrow morning?

Was I totally certain to do the shot at just the right time? Is today the 29th? Is the time correct? Did we remember to change all of the clocks in the house during the last time change?

What about those few drops of HCG that I wasn't able to get out of the vial? Damn. Did I really need them? (I sucked them out with a second needle. No worries.)

What if he goes in there and none of my eggs come out?

What if he gets my eggs out okay, but none are mature enough to fertilize?

How come I'm not feeling more fullness and pressure in my ovary region like I did last time?

I feel like I'm getting a cold. Is this going to kill my eggs?

It goes on and on. The list is endless. And in the 11th hour, we're also starting to question the soundness of doing ICSI. The CDC data shows a reduction in success of 20.3% when using ICSI for my age category (40-41) when there isn't male factor infertility, and a drop of 23.5% when there IS male factor infertility. [If you visit the CDC links, click the graphs to see the discussion on each of the two graphs.]

This doesn't make sense. Something has to be amiss with the data. ICSI is supposed to help people with male factor infertility get pregnant. Not hurt their chances. A 23.5% drop in success rate is, well, rather significant! I fired off a late night email to Dr. Moustache asking what to make of the data, and also, "What does your data look like?" Skipping ICSI not only might be a wise move in terms of increasing our chances for success, but it would save us something like $1800 on our tab.

I don't think I'd skip assisted hatching, as my eggs ARE 41 years old and the zonas are probably really THICK...but if there was ample data showing it, too, was questionable, I might skip it, too.