8DP3DT: Luteal Day 12

J's mom, DC, who lives in Sonora, came to stay with us last night on her way to Monterey, where she plans on spending a few days with a couple of her girlfriends. I'd hoped that she would have stayed longer than one night with us, but she promised that she'd stay longer on her next trip out.

DC is a certified massage therapist, and she has practiced for the last 20 or so years. But she decided, recently, to give it up, and so yesterday she brought us her massage table. It's an older table, but it's fairly lightweight and easy to break down and move. It has an older vinylish cover on it, kind of a baby barf color, that I think I'll replace with an offwhite or sky blue color in a similar fabric. A project for another day though. She folded it out in our bedroom, showing me how it "goes together". Simple enough. I can do this. I'm not sure what we're going to do with in the meanwhile but, hell, we now have a massage table.

DC gave me a nice & relaxing massage, a brief one and only on my front side as I didn't think that I could bear laying on my stomach for a long period of time. I'm just too bloated. Honestly, I could pass for someone in her second trimester right now. I know that it's a consequence of the heparin shots, and maybe some lingering fluid retention from the ER.

One thing I noticed yesterday is that, at some point, my cramps really backed off. This distressed me. I actually found a bit of solace in those cramps because it made me think that SOMETHING was going on in my uterine region. My first paranoid thought was that the massage might have been a bad idea. My acupuncturist said there are plenty of acupressure points one has to try to be aware of, and to avoid, while pregnant. Because of this, I told DC to just give me a very light massage, nothing even close to deep tissue for me yesterday. There were a few moves that gave me cause for concern, but I might be carrying her grandchild, so I'm sure she was careful. But of course, because my cramps kind of backed off yesterday, I looked at the timestamp correlation between the two events and immediately started to conclude that the "massage caused that" to happen. I know that's just paranoid fantasy and I tried earnestly to push that thought away.

Late last night, about 3:30AM, the moon was so full and bright that it shone into our bedroom patio like a spotlight. We have very sheer white tab curtains that hang in our bedroom, so the morning sun, and now the moon, really lets in. I guess we have not before noticed how bright the moonlight could be in our bedroom because the last time we had a full moon we were likely still in our 40 day onslaught of rain. We've only been here since January, so we've mostly experienced cold weather and rain here.

But the moonbeams were shining in through a separation in the curtains, and directly into my face. It was a bit surreal. Sleep would be impossible until the moon moved below the edge of the patio cover. So I laid there, unable to sleep, obsessing about my lack of cramps, wondering to where they had gone. At some point I drifted back to sleep.

This morning the cramps were there for just a second and then they vanished once again. I mentioned to J's mom that this was really distressing me and she said that maybe implantation cramps are fleeting in that they literally only hurt during implantation and once that process is over, there is no more pain until the next process begins.

She has a point.

Now you see why I am a bit bummed that she only spent a single night with us. She is fairly level headed and can wade through any situation and find some logic. And comfort.

I think I will peruse FertileThoughts.com and see if I can get some of the fertile ladies there to substantiate this. But my guess is that DC is right on target. She often is.

So much for my attempts at not obsessing. :-)