The Day After

I successfully spent the entire day absorbed in my work, trying as best I could to not dwell on what happened yesterday, or more accurately, what DIDN'T happen. I am pretty much cried out to that point where my eyes felt heavy and sticky, the only solution is to just sleep through it all.

I think I am still in shock. I'm nearly sure I am, for I ignored what would have felt so good...sleeping...and instead of sleeping, I threw myself into putting my mother's house on the market. I started at 9:00AM and it's now 2:00AM, and I just finished the final touches on the faxes which have to be sent a mere six hours from now. Selling her house is closure on our lives in LA. It's a rather big deal for her since she moved into the house in 1953.

So I threated that I was going to LA if this cycle didn't work. There was something about wanting to lay in the sun and soak in rays. And as promised, I am leaving for LA on Wednesday...I have a Broker Tour on Thursday, Open Houses on Saturday and maybe Sunday, and will be back on Sunday, or maybe Monday. Mom wants to take Highway 1, passing through Big Sur, but that's a drive that needs to be started early in the day to appreciate...which means maybe leaving on Monday if we hold the house open on Sunday. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to this trip, but I think Millie's advise about just getting away and keeping my kind off of things is right on target. (But then again, her advice has always been awesome. :-)

You who visited and offered kind words and support...thank you...you'll never know how much that means to me. Especially because all of you have been here, on the receiving end of this shitty beast called infertility. It breaks you down, kicks you. It is unforgiving and unfair. I cried last night about the wretched crack whores and their myriad of babies...and the utter unfairness of it all.

But on a brigher note, I know I'm going to get to see a bunch of you at the picnic on June 4th, and I am so looking forward to being with people "who can relate".