CD29: 10DP3.5DTTequila Anyone?

** Warning: Extensive use of the word "fuck" today.

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First the better news of the day:

CD3 FSH 9.2
E2 72

Both could be better but since I'll be 42 in two months, they're not that bad.

Okay, now for the totally fucked up news of the day:

Beta #1: 2.48
Beta #2: Less than 2.0

I guess they don't bother giving you an exact number when it's this low.

(sob)

I just wish that I knew whether this was residual HCG from my trigger or an embryo that tried to implant but didn't get too far.

We're both devastated, again, and in shock at how much we did for this cycle:

• Two fucking trips to Mexico (treatment: $1200 + airfare/hotel)
  
• Endometrial biopsies (mostly covered by insurance, but painful as hell)
  
• 2 months of Humira ($600+ a shot)
  
• IVIg ($2000+)
  
• Rx: Lexapro, Synthroid, Lovenox, Dexamethazone, Folguard, PIO/Supps, Viagra Supps
  
• And don't forget my June surgery where they took out my fibroids, my endo/adhesions/scar tissue and both of my Fallopian tubes.
  

We thought we covered it all this time.

Apparently not.

What did we miss?

Apparently quite a bit.

Well Dr. Moustache didn't mention to me that it would have been wise to have my uterus tested for beta-3-integrins or Cyclin E/P27.

Some background:
Beta-3-integrins are in a normal uterus at the time that embryos normally implant and act as a "glue" that helps them attach to the endometrial lining. In women that have endo, they are lacking these integrins most of the time (70% or more). Treatment for this? 3 months of lupron and then you have a two month window of opportunity to do IVF and get pregnant before the issue rears its ugly head once again.

He could have also tested me for Cyclin E/P27 in the EFT Biopsy. In a normal uterus, you find Cyclin E from CD1 till about CD18. Then P27 kicks in and Cycln E ceases. In a woman with endo (that's me) Cyclin E just doesn't shut off and P27 just doesn't make it's appearance as it should, if at all. Treatment for this, from what I can tell, is a combination of E2 and progesterone at the right times in the cycle. I'm still waiting to hear from Dr. Kliman on whether that is indeed the treatment protocol.

Both would have predicted quite accurately whether or not my uterus would have been receptive to accepting our last 5 embryos.

Both of these would be been easily treated with medication. In fact, we could have started treatment in June, after my surgery and right about now, rather than putting my last five embryos into my toxic wasteland of a uterus, I would have been giving them a chance at life.

I only found out about these tests from Dr. Feinman down in SoCal via our INCIID chat the other night.

Fuck!

Why is it that shit like this happens? You find out about what could have worked AFTER the cycle has gone bust. Does it always have to be this way?

You know how they say that people go through different stages of grief? Denial, anger, acceptance? I forget the other stages, but I went straight to anger and I am stuck there. I am pissed. Enraged even. If I wasn't on lexapro with most of my feelings and emotions unable to get out because of the drug induced stupor they put me in, I'd probably burst an artery in my head. Seriously.

I've written Dr. Moustache an angry-as-all-hell email and I sat on it all day wondering if I should send it. When I first started to write it I didn't have my beta #2 results in hand.

Now that I have them, I am motivated enough to fire this off and it will be in his inbox by midnight.

$30,000 later and NOW we find out about beta-3-integrins and Cyclin E/P27?

Bastard!!!!

Statia, if you're reading this I only hope that Dr. Pompy will entertain my need to test for this shit because that is where I am heading next. That is unless Dr. Moustache eats crow, gives me one raging discount on my next IVF, AND does every damned test that I want from here on out.

I kind of doubt he'll do that. So Dr. Pompy here I come.