Lupron Crisis

I am literally freaking out.

I'm pissed for no particular reason, and for every reason in particular. I have warned all parties in the house that I'm jacked up on lupron and things will only get worse. I'm not using this as an excuse to "go off". Really, I'm not. I actually thought that I was impervious, impenetrable, immune to the evil lupron, and I didn't cave in easiliy, but this time all bets are off.

It remains to be seen if my dosaging was increased this time. Dr. Pompy's nurse mentioned to me, "You'll either be doing 2.5iu or 5iu twice a day." Turns out they gave me 5iu twice a day. I'll have to check my old protocol sheets to see if this is an increase or not.

Increase or not. This stuff is hell.

We set out late to see houses today. J had the idea that we should go to the new Panera in Campbell and use our "free coffee and bagel" coupons today. I'm not thrilled about the idea of a carb filled bagel so I get mine to go. Mom can eat it. I get my cup and pour some decaf into it. Absentmindedly, I poured soy into my coffee. Then suddenly realized that I can't have soy right now. I poured out the coffee. I refill. Then I come to the oh so late realization that the coffee was in a styrofoam cup. STYROFOAM! Grrr.... I was on autopilot from my usual trip to the Bux where they have the sense to use paper cups. Don't people know that this stuff leaches out chemicals. I poured out a second cup of coffee and went and sat by J and mom while they ate their carb laden bagels. This was the beginning of a very ugly day.

Off we went in search of a few houses in Redwood City that fit a number of our criteria. There were two in all. The original list was something like 12, 14 or 16 homes, but after I got ahold of the list and culled out the "undesirables" a mere two remained. Driving 20+ miles in either direction to see two homes? Even J wondered about this. "Yes, that's all that is worth seeing on the market right about now." So we continued on.

I misinformed mother and J that our appointment to see "house A" was at 2pm. Our appointment was at 1pm. Luckily we arrived on time. $1.05M and it needed kitchen and bathroom remodels. Jesus christ. It's bad enough that housing is expensive in the Bay Area, but to spend that much moolah and still have to remodel? Screw that.

We left.

J and I got into numerous mini fights over just about everything while we drove looking for the second house. He went to turn right. I said go left. Then he wanted to go left when we needed to go straight. Everything was grating on my nerves.

Second house was just under $1.0M. Old windows, old doors, shitty kitchen and bathroom. I screamed, "ARE THESE PEOPLE ON CRACK OR WHAT??? I sold the house five doors up the road for $880,000 a year and a half ago and it was UPDATED! And had a view!" I can only hope that the next agent coming in after us didn't hear me freaking out.

We left. J thought we should just drive up and down streets looking at homes. Okay. Fine. But let's go somewhere NEW? How about Belmont? San Bruno? San Carlos? There's nothing worth seeing in Redwood City in our price range.

No. We were going to see "the streets of Redwood City." We came across a really sweet house in RWC. I tried to pull it up on the WIFI phone to no avail. J got impatient with me. I crashed my browser. Had to reboot my phone. I started to snap at him for being impatient and it got pretty bad, so bad that he parked the car, got out, and went for a walk while I tried to coax beat the listing price information out of my WIFI phone. After we leave the house and drive down about 10 more streets I find the "really sweet house" on the MLS. $2,395,000. Jesus f*cking hell. Why is it that one needs to spend a fortune to have a nice house in this area? I just don't get it. The housing here all sucks. It's old, dirty, rundown, and it's likely next to an apartment building with cars parked everywhere. I want to scream, yell, move back to SoCal where $800,000 buys you a villa in my old area.

By now my stomach was really pissed off that I didn't eat that stinkin' bagel. I said, "I need food. I don't care if you two aren't hungry, let's just get to Bear Sushi so I can get food. You can eat, watch me eat, or share a bowl of soybeans but I need food." J meandered through a few more streets. We get to Bear Sushi. The sign says "open". We try to park but that, too, leads to a fight over where to park. We get to the door and the lady says, "Oh, we closed!" Yeah, "But your sign...it says 'we open!'" So we left and headed downtown. We finally were able to get food into me at long last. Good thing as a girl hyped up on lupron with hypoglycemia is an ugly ugly situation.

While we're eating I have the sudden realization that my menopur is due to arrive today. I can't pull up the FedEx page of the phone and start thinking about how my menopur might be baking in the sun on the front porch. (It's unseasonably warm this week and I am just loving it). We eat and dash home.

No package.

I login to the FedEx website and see my package isn't due to arrive at all today. It's due to arrive tomorrow.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. All that freaking out for nothing.

Okay. I don't need it today, but hopefully it's sitting someplace "cool".

Still sitting with my laptop on my thighs I open my email and an old boyfriend had replied to an email I sent him a week or so ago. He writes that life is great and his wife is having their FOURTH CHILD the first week of May.

FOURTH. As in 4. Four. IV.

Somebody shoot me. Please.