Stims Day 4Human Pincushion

Seven shots a day is excessive. There is little uncharted territory on my stomach for this to go on much longer. The Lovenox isn't creating huge bruises, as the heparin did, but I see telltale black marks where the needles entered.

What is most surprising in this cycle is how f*cking much the Menopur shots hurt. IF women will complain about the heparin. How it burns and the intensive bruising that it causes. They plead with their physicians for scripts for Lovenox, and that eases the pain a bit and lessens the bruising. But Menopur is something created in hell.

Tonight, for the first time in 4 cycles, the pain was so much I took the needle out and had to start over. Never before has that happened. Well, it might have happened with the Humira, but that memory is buried safely away.

I noticed this evening, while preparing my quartet of injections, that I have a veritable menagerie of infertility drugs in my refrigerator. Gonal F from Z, from JP, and even one box of Gonal F with a woman's name of it that I have never met, nor do I recall how it came into my possession. A few follistim pens without instructions, lot numbers, or expiration dates, a multidose Gonal F vial, a couple of 450iu multi dose vials, three boxes of 900iu pens, and so much more. Five boxes of menopur that were gathered from at least three sources, not one a pharmacy. There's even a box of vivelle patches in the lettuce drawer. I'll probably never use a few of these things and when this cycle is over, I'll pass them onto the next IF woman who is in need of such things.

One day she, or perhaps yet another woman, will find my name on a box in her lettuce drawer and wonder who I am, and what my story was.