11DP3DT - 16DP Trigger

As I suspected. Negative.

Beta < 2.0.

20 embryos over 1.5 years and nothing. Not a single BFP. My eggs are either rotten, or my body is one helluva lean mean embryo killing machine. I believe it's the latter. My CD3 FSH was 5.6 two months ago, and E2 was quite low, both indicative that egg quality hasn't yet taken a nosedive for the worse. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that this isn't 100% proven...but what the hell IS proven in ART? Not much, eh?)

Yesterday on the way to work, I stopped at my reproductive immunologist's office (Dr. S's) to do a blood draw. I already pretty much knew I wasn't pregnant, what with the row of glaring white HPTs stuck to my bathroom mirror. I'd already surmised that if I were to cycle again, it would be will full blown immune treatments. Dr. Hungarian's theories argue against using immune supressors, but you know, I really am starting to believe that my immune system is the problem. Besides, what's to say I can't combine immune treatments and antibiotics?

While at Dr. S's I asked his chief med tech person, "C", if I could get an r/x for enbrel, said I'd seen articles online that said that enbrel had been FDA approved for patients with plague psoriasis. She said she thought that it was only for patients with psoriatric arthritis but, no, I insisted that I'd seen articles that people like me were now able to use enbrel. (Enbrel and Humira are TNF-a inhibitors. Well, actually, they bind to receptor sites on TNF-a and this keeps TNF-a from necrotizing cells, and embryos). I have psoriasis (auto-immune), uterine natural killer cells, and I rarely get sick. J, on the other hand, is constantly sick. You think I'd at least catch something from him while he sneezes and coughs in bed next to me? Not a chance. I could eat off his place, him with a full blown cold, and I'd be fine.

So last night I emailed "C" the articles, my insurance company's preauthorization form, and asked her to get me set up on an embrel program. Dr. B, whose office Dr. S now runs, said that one needs to be on this stuff for 17.4 week in order to see maximal effects. Four months. That's exactly the time that it takes for effects to to be seen in eggs that are being pulled up for recruitment. J thinks that enbrel is a risk. The reports I've seen are controversial. Some say there are no side effects. Minimal sides effects. Some reports say that risks of malignancies and MS are elevated with enbrel and humira. What to believe?

J also feels, rather strongly, that I should go back to my hardcore diet regime (see the right nav bar for details on this). No coffee, no alcohol, no dairy, only organic meats, wheatgrass juice, little or no wheat, sugar, cold foods. No nightshades. (Great, I have a garden chock full of organic heirloom tomatoes just screaming for buffala mozarella and basil). Weekly acupuncture. Meditation. Keeping BMI low. He is convinced that my hardcore diet reproduced better results. My hardcore diet IS correlated to two IVF cycles with vastly better results, but I reminded him, "Yeah, but I was 41 when I did all of that. I'm 42 and a half right now and things change fast at my age. My god, do you realize you're asking me to go into the Christmas holidays alcohol free? Ugghhh!"

But by golly, if this man is going to stand next to me during another cycle with its associated lupron-induced fits, the least I can do is to give these embryos the very best. Even if my friends think I'm extreme.

So we're looking at December for our next cycle and tonight, just tonight, I will eat my organic heirloom nightshades covered in buffala and basil, and my last bottle of vintage port.

Onwards and sideways.