4DP3DT - 9DP TriggerOn Working Again

Yesterday and today I worked from home thinking that a few days at home could do me some good during this dreaded 2WW. Amazingly I got lots of work done these past two days, more than I would have ever thought possible. So much that my manager should be pleased. I hope she is at least. I've sometimes found it difficult to work from home, what with my mother ignoring the fact that I have a laptop on my lap, a phone in my ear, and a pen in hand. To her, those aren't clear indicators that "someone is working". Instead, she'll say, "Oh, Linda, what do you think of this house here?" as she starts to stuff the back page of the local newspaper in my face whilst looking impatient. I shoo her off with the hand holding the pencil, point to the phone to the laptop, and she storms off, rolling her eyes and guffawing under her breath.

This is how it always is. This is one of the big reasons I recently leapt at the chance to re-enter the workforce. I simply couldn't work here. I couldn't get anything done. I told mom and J on a few occasion, "I cannot wait till I get a job again. I'll leave early in the morning. Eat lunch at work. I don't know what you two will do for lunch but I won't have to cook it. I'll work late into the evening. I'll get things done. I'll come home exhausted and too tired to cook you two dinner. We'll be forced to eat out because I won't be able to do it. Ah, I am looking forward to that. Those will be the days."

Sounds sick, eh? But I became so frustrated trying to work at home at my own business, that I tossed it all aside (temporarily) so that I could escape to a cube.

And it has been sheer bliss.

I can't tell you how much I look forward to going to the office, sitting in my cube, working, being productive. Without interruptions. And I get paid for this to boot. It's lovely I tell you. I must sound sick in the head to those of you that have done this day in and day out for years on end. I've been a contractor since late 2001, so I've been on my own for six years. I've missed the camaraderie of office life. Of having a routine. Of being paid on a weekly basis. I'm actually in heaven.

Okay...and on the IVF front...things still ain't moving, my cramps are gone for the most part (boohoo), and the POAS this morning was totally negative. I think there was an evaporation line but that was about it.

And get this: I had the insane idea today to download every claim we've had since we started this IVF business and you know what I found? We've spent a shitload of money trying to get me pregnant. It's not even funny how much we've blown. I think we could have paid cash for a high-end SUV at this point...along the lines of an H2 or H3 if my calculations are right. The number I saw at the bottom of my spreadsheet made me ill. However, it paled in comparison to the total dollar figure of "claims" by ourselves and our physicians since February 2006, a mere 18 months: $135,000. Of course this wasn't the amount actually paid out to them but what everyone BILLED. Holy shit. I thank the insurance gods that we weren't liable for anything close to that figure.

I told "J" today that I am not going to destroy us financially that this cycle was the last cycle we were paying for. If we are to cycle again, it'll be because we have IVF coverage or because we just won the lottery.

All I can say is that the cash cow is hemorrhaging money and it's time to put her out of her misery.