Retrieval

I never thought we'd see this day actually, but today, at long last, was retrieval.

Deep sigh of relief.

So....the numbers. That's all that any of us IF want to know, oui? We started out with 7 follicles, I personally adjusted my lupron down 20% (100mcg to 80mcg), then 5 days Dr. Generous located and measured 11, then 3 days ago Dr. S located and measured 10. Today they retrieved 9 eggs. So either 9 out of 10, or 9 out of 11. 90% or 82% retrieval rate. Not bad for an old lady. They're not all stellar, mind you. One was measured at 24mm a few days ago, so we will likely lose that one. Apparently they turn "gray" or "dark" when they go bad and die and we've been told to anticipate this happening.

There was also one that was measured at 9mm, which strikes me as odd that it even measured so small. 5 days ago, my smallest two were at 11x8mm (9mm avg) and 11 x 7mm (9mm avg). In 5 days time one would think that they'd have grown. Follicles grow, on average, 2mm a day, so both 9's should have been about 13mm. 14mm is see as the border for where eggs are big enough to be mature. Optimistic me thinks that those two are probably bigger than they think they are and might actually have a chance.

"J's" swimmers were deemed fit enough for natural fertilization, so this will be the first cycle in which we've not used ICSI. It's great to be able to save the $1500 cost that it would be for ICSI, but I'm also nervous that at my age, my zonas might be quite impermeable to the average sperm. Dr. S said that fertilization basically happens within the first 4 hours after they mix eggs and sperm, so it's been 3.5 hours and I am hoping that "J's" little army has done their deed and slayed the hefty zonas.

We'll get the fertilization report in the AM. To say I'm nervous would be understating things. I dread getting a telephone call the likes of what we heard this morning while I waited in my gurney. "Hello "J", this is Dr. S. I am sorry I don't have good news. None of your eggs fertilized. We really don't know why this is..." "J" and I had been having a light and cheerful conversation up til the point we heard that. Our mood sunk and we both immediately felt a pang of grief for the poor woman on the other end of that phone. I can't imagine the pain and disappointment she suffered in that moment. Hopes and dreams dashed. I wondered why they'd make such a phone call from the pre-op/recovery area, knowing that us hopeful, want-to-be-parents might have overheard that. He spoke in a low tone, so I think he was trying to be careful, sensitive, but we heard it nonetheless. (heart breaks)

So I've scheduled IVIg for the morning, which on second thought seems like a stupid thing to have done. I'm taking a chance scheduling my IVIg before we get the fertilization report. If none of them fertilize, we'll be out $425 for the infusion fees. It's kind of too late to reschedule, but I wonder what on earth I was thinking when I moved my date from Thursday to Wednesday. I'll just blamed the surging estrogen on my idiotic mindlessness and move on.

Tomorrow we'll either be overjoyed, or depressed. Oh please let it be the former.