Newbies

As one that has literally been through the IVF mill a few times, and considers myself a fairly active blogger and reader of IF blogs, I find myself trying to limit myself to only reading the blogs infertile who have been through at least 2 IVF cycles. I do read one newbie blog, religiously, but for the most part I find it incredibly difficult to read the blogs of the "new to IVF".

My heart really does go out to the newbies. I read of their hope, their angst over whether they'll get pregnant this first cycle. They write about how often they'll do acupuncture, how they think their REs walk on water, how they are "doing everything" right so that this first time will work. I read how they have switched from drinking 5 colas a day to diet soda and I cringe at the amount of aspartame that they're ingesting. Or the girls that stop binge drinking the day before they start taking stims. I have to wonder, sometimes, how serious some of these women are. I know that when this first one doesn't work for some of them that the shock will be unexpected. The pain deep. They'll look for reasons as to why this cycle didn't work. Many will analyze each step they took. Each meal. Each supplement. Whether that pitcher of margaritas the day before transfer had anything to do with it. They'll drive themselves batty with self blame.

When I follow the blog of a newbie and they aren't successful that first time, I feel their pain so intensely because I was there once. (Hell, I still fret over the silly shit!) The pain is so familiar that I dare not venture to their blogs too often. When I read of what their REs are or are not doing in their cycles I want to butt in with my SWAG (ie, scientific wild assed guess), or perhaps you'd call it my assvice. Whatever.

I want to write to them and tell them what I think of their REs, their protocols, their diets, their BMIs, their binge drinking, and to ask if they did "this test" or "that test" before they considered IVF or their RE. "Didn't your RE tell you to stay away from Ginkgo Biloba, Echinacea, and St. John's Wort????" I want to butt in. Sometimes I do, and I always fear the "thanks for stopping by but please back off" note. I haven't received one, yet, but I'm sure it's just around the corner. But for the most part, I try to read and move on, and better yet, I try to read the blogs of my fellow veteran sisters...those who have had repeated failures and have had their newbie blinders removed from their eyes.

I hear many women say that when they become pregnant that they move on and stop reading the blogs of the IF world. I'm not sure that I could ever do that if I were to become pregnant. I think I would still continue to follow my cycle sistahs and check in on them from time to time and offer up my SWAG whenever I felt so moved.